Archive for the ‘Hamsaps Style’ Category
The Have and Have Nots
Posted on: November 8, 2011
Last Friday I had a fabulous lunch with my dear friend Rachel. We had a grand old time catching up on life and noshing on bony fish and larger-than-life salads. After lunch we decided to do a little shopping. I needed to find something for my sister-in-law’s birthday and we both needed to talk to the mustached Genius at the Apple store.
While shopping Rachel and I decided to check out a large home goods store. I’m not going to include the store’s name because this post has nothing to do with said store, it has to to with me. (Wow that sentence sounded narcissistic). If you really must know the store’s name rhymes with Brate and Darell.
Before we entered the store I droned on and on about how I was not very pleased with their wedding registry process. Because of that I had low expectations for the store, and I didn’t want my friend getting her hopes up.
As soon as we walked into the store I was swept off my feet by retail cherubs and transported to a world of Christmas splendor. The store was FILLED with the cutest holiday decorations I had ever seen! There were cookie sheets and cupcake liners and a set of bowls I just HAD to have. There were guest towels and a silver vase and even this amazing cheese cutter that just screamed holiday entertaining. (Actually, it screamed Urgent Care as I played around with the board and tried to press the slicer into my finger. Ouch.)
Rachel can vouch for me when I say I was smitten. The only reason I didn’t go to town and spend a chunk of my paycheck in the store was because I forgot my coupon.
Rachel and I parted ways that afternoon and I called David as I drove home. I went on and on about my surprising finds and begged him to let me go back and purchase everything in the store. David agreed to go and look at the decorations together and decide what we actually needed. Sunday afternoon we ventured back to my personal holiday mecca. Coupon and husband in hand I walked into the store filled with anticipation.
I was not expecting what happened next.
I quickly realized that the cookie sheets didn’t actually yield that many cookies– I’d be baking for days. The cupcake liners were $6.95 for 100, not the $2.50 I had erroneously remembered. The bowls were still cute, but once David asked if he could eat soup out of them I was disillusioned. David reminded me we already HAD Christmas guest towels (they say “Naughty” and “Nice”) and the silver vase was destined to be a money-sucker because what was I going to put in the vase? Oh, those glittery red stems that retailed for $12.95 a piece? I don’t think so.
David and I walked around the store aimlessly, rejecting item after item off my must-own list. The kicker for me was when David pointed out we could get a lot of our Christmas shopping done with my ridiculous decoration budget. Busted.
So what I did learn this weekend? I’m pseudo-impulsive. I just HAD TO HAVE those decorations. Thank goodness I had the good sense to wait to use my coupon consult my husband first. I also learned that I’d rather save my money than spend nowadays. It wasn’t just David talking me out of everything. I didn’t want any of the things I HAD TO HAVE upon second look. I have a lot of nice Christmas decorations. I would rather save my money and spend it on Christmas gifts for other people than deck my halls with hazardous cheese boards.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The Mean One
Posted on: October 27, 2011
- In: Crazy dog lady | Hamsaps Style | Luna | Ohana
- 2 Comments
It has long been established at Hamsaps House that I am “The Mean One.” I am the strict one when it comes to Luna and I’m sure I’ll continue being The Mean One when we have children. As The Mean One it is my responsibility to uphold the Hamsaps code of honor and administer a justified and consistent disciplinary system. I did not choose to be The Mean One– it chose me. By nature I’m much more authoritative than David. While I’m stomping around the apartment barking orders David is usually coddling Luna somewhere, telling her how beautiful she is and how much he loves her.
Luna and The Nice One, aka the two best friends that anyone could have.
The other night Luna ran into the living room with a stolen tissue in her mouth. In the past David and I would tag-team her, chasing her around the room as she darted under the coffee table to conceal her thievery.
“Stay there,” I ordered David, slowly approaching Luna while maintaining eye contact.
“Luna,” I said in my sternest voice. “Stop right there.” Her front paws quivered as she tried to make a move in the direction of the coffee table.
“Ah ah ah,” I scolded. “Stay.” She knew I meant business. As I knelt down Luna bowed her head in submission. “Give me the kleenex,” I ordered as I pulled the growdy tissue from her mouth. “Don’t do that again,” I warned her, breaking my gaze. Of course Luna ran right to David for her nightly coddle.
“Wow,” David said, looking at me impressively. “I can’t believe she listens to you like that.”
“Well, you just have to be authoritative and consistent. She knows I’m the boss and she listens. You should try it sometime,” I joked.
A few days later David, Luna and I went on a walk after dinner.
“So, I used my serious voice on Luna today,” David informed me.
“Oh ya? How’d that go?” I asked.
“Well, she got another tissue out of the trash, and instead of chasing her I told her to stop and drop it,” David explained. “I went right over to her and said ‘No, Luna’ real seriously. She didn’t run and I didn’t have to chase her. She looked really sad after I yelled at her though. I felt bad so I kissed her and told her I was sorry.”
“So you apologized to the dog for disciplining her when she was being naughty?” I confirmed.
Needless to say, my role as the mean one will remain in tact for years to come.
Top 10 Magical Wedding Moments
Posted on: May 26, 2011
Hi
It’s Sandy guest blogging for Hamsaps House
Well the wedding weekend is all over and the happy couple are no doubt enjoying a magical honeymoon.
It was an amazing weekend for a wedding. The weather was perfect, and everything went off without a hitch as they say.
I thought I would share with you my top 10 memories of the wedding.
10. There were a lot of stuck zippers getting ready that day! I was beginning to think we all ate and drank too much that week before. Turns out it was only nerves.
9. It was a little scary that the photographer took Abby and David into the woods for a few outside shots before the ceremony. Didn’t she know we are not nature girls? Abby’s 3 inch heels sank into the mud, bugs attached to the tulle of the dress, and they walked thru poison ivy . Thank goodness for David’s sisters scrubbing her shoes before she walked down the aisle.
8. It was interesting helping your daughter go to the restroom in her 9 layers of dress. I haven’t handed her toilet paper since she was 3.
7. It was so fun watching everyone cut loose and dance the night away. Abby even let her hair down and danced to YMCA on top of a speaker. That’s something she would have said no way to a week before the wedding!
6. I loved that all of our family and close friends were gathered together in one place to celebrate with us. It was awesome that our year of hard work and planning came together perfectly.
5. I was so proud of Molly’s toast to Abby and David. She wrote it down and forgot it and Ethan was kind enough to go home during the cocktail hour and get it for her. It was so perfect and fitting using Disney comparisons to describe them.
4. I was so happy to dance with my husband to the song the DJ forgot at our own wedding. This started the Anniversary dance and ended with the oldest married couple left standing, my parents.
3.I stood and watched while my husband danced with our daughter to “My Little Girl” and bawled my eyes out but they were tears of joy.
2. I was so proud to watch Luther walk Abby down the aisle, I felt as though I were walking with them.
1. And last but not least my number one favorite memory is that on that day my beloved Abby married her best friend and soul mate David, a wonderful kind man who I am proud to welcome to our family. I know that they have found true love and happiness.
Sandy
Til Death Do Us Part
Posted on: April 19, 2011
- In: Hamsaps Style | I Do
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This post has been lingering on WordPress as a draft for a few days now. At first I was afraid to publish it because I don’t want people to think know how morbid I am. But then David read it, said it was a good one and all systems are a-go. So without further ado…
I only have 31 more days to write about all the pre-wedding thoughts infiltrating my brain, so I figure I better get it all out now.
Sappy confession time: David and I are soul mates to the core. We exist on the same wavelength; we speak the same love language. We say the same things at the same time. Sometimes we even have silent conversations. David will start with, “Where…” and I’ll interrupt with a “Top drawer.” David will open the top drawer, find exactly what he was going to ask for and smile at me with wild abandon. He makes my heart melt.
He calms me down when I’m frazzled, and I overcompensate when he doesn’t show enough emotion. As ridiculous as it might sound, I knew we were supposed to be together from the moment we met. We were just drawn to each other.
I don’t know if I’m just particularly morbid, overly dramatic or both, but over the course of our engagement I have realized something: when we’re old and decrepit I want David to die before me.
Nice, right?
Simmer down conclusion-jumpers– let me explain my logic. I know David well enough and I know myself well enough to estimate what our reactions would be to the other one’s death. I would be a hot mess of grief, crying uncontrollably, punching walls with my wrinkly muffin fist and screaming “WHY!!!” towards the heavens. I would grieve with every ounce of my being until one day I would wake up and it would hurt a little less.
David, on the other hand, would be a total recluse. He would hole up away from everyone and resort to eating canned, processed food. (I know– the horror.) He wouldn’t talk about me and he wouldn’t express his emotions. He would sit around day in and day out, toiling away the time, just waiting. He would wind his grief up so tightly it would serve as the anchor of his remaining days.
Hush again, contrarians: I’m not making wild accusations about my fiance or assuming anything. I worked at hospice for a year and these are real issues, so we’ve talked about this. David admitted he would become a hermit, although he said he might be okay with Luna 4 by his side.
So unless David and I can go together a la Notebook style, I hope that when we’re old and the time is right he goes first.
The end. For real.
Porch People (part 2)
Posted on: April 15, 2011
As I type this I’m sitting on a cushy love seat with my feet resting on an ottoman. Luna is chewing a rawhide on the cute rug below me. My solar power lanterns are charging in the sunlight, and I can see the spring breeze creating ripples in the pond three stories below me.
People, the porch is complete.
What started as this…
*sniff sniff* Did somebody say... wooood?
Was combined with this…
We call it The Room of Spare. aka The Disney Room. aka Lunas play room.
And resulted in this…
Solar-powered green lanterns!!
Be thankful I have an iPad. Otherwise Hamsaps House would be DESERTED all spring/summer/fall.
